What we Learned: Game of Thrones 6.6-6.7 Blood of My Blood & The Broken Man

1. Never trust ANYTHING that happens off camera.

This might seem to be a silly rule, especially in the world like Game of Thrones where, things like the Blackfish taking over Riverrun NEED to happen off camera for the show to progress. But here we got some interesting twists. First, in last week's episodes, it seems like the leap from Margeary struggling against the faith to new bright eyed bushy tailed believer seemed like a large leap, and this week we realize she is playing the game and knows where she comes from when she hands Lady Olenna a drawing of a Rose and decides to show her true self in her eyes if only for a moment. Also, I guess, the Hound and Benjen are  alive, no big deal. But the Hound is angry - hopefully he isn't coming for me leaving him off the top ten fighters of GoT!

By the way, one other thing I no longer trust - people bragging about how fierce their warriors are. Every house seems to think they fight with the strength of 10 men and are the greatest warriors in the land.

2. Jaime needs to follow Tyrion's lead.  

It is amazing how much a character has changed from one season to the next. When introduced, by the end of season one I HATED Jaime Lannister. I would have easily referred to him as the Kingslayer. But as we learn, he actually is quite principled, and his season 1 offer to fight Robb Stark to end the war wasn't all bravado - he actually cares about saving the lives of innocents, a rare commodity in Westeros these days. So after being in the Kingsgaurd for, frankly, a handful of awful kings, he is off to siege a castle of someone he probably respects. He offers peace, hoping to save the lives of "hundreds." He really doesn't seem too keen on the whole idea - why not jsut hatch a plan with the blackfish, kill all the Freys and ride North to help the Starks? It wont happen, but next week looks like we'll be getting a big siege!

3. Arya is in the fight of her life

I was quite skeptical of Arya's allegiance to the House of the Faceless men all along - and was glad to finally see her split. She has the ninja training she needs, time to sail for Westros. Except that jealous BITCH waif from blind stick fighting class shows up and ruins her plans. I think Arya is going to miss her ship, but the Waif wont be having that smug look on her face for much longer. Speaking of Arya's big scene, I can't help but think the line "The Iron Born are in slaver's bay." couldn't just be a throwaway line. Could Arya be reunited with Theon and hitch a ride back to Westeros with the Mother of Dragons?

4. Iron Born are biters  

So as I'd hoped, Theon and Yara sail for Mereen to steal their Uncle's idea. I honestly don't know what Uncle traitor thinks he is going to do. It seems they sailed off with a TON of ships. I can't imagine that he can build enough ships in time to do anything other than maybe have a big battle at sea. I wonder how their ships will fair against dragons... Yahoo to Yara for snapping Theon out of that funk - he seemed like he came into his own at the Kings moot, but he still has a little Ramsey PTSD.

5. The North Remembers but...

Army Recruiting is not going well - and something I thought was telegraphed from Sansa's big scene with Baelish, it appears his loyalty to her will be tested. She wrote a scroll to be raven'd off somewhere, and one can't help it is for Baelish and the knights of the Vale.

Speaking of the North - what racists! Wildlings were just born on the wrong side of the Wall! It's almost like George RR was trying to make these an allegory for something... oh well, maybe I'm over thinking it.

More Questions than Answers:

1. Will the Knights of the Vale show up in time to support Jon, or will the show try and act like Jon is going to lose and then they ride in at the last moment? And can we please see Wun Wun eat Ramsey like a corn on the cobb?

2.No update from Bran - it is always hard to understand the timing of travel in this show. It seems like it took Bran and Company an entire season to get from the Wall to the tree of the 3-eyed Raven. But Jon caught up to them quickly, and now Bran has a horse, so perhaps his trip south should reach the wall before season's end - now it just depends on when they show us.

3. Shouldn't Jon be telling all the Northerners - "Oh, even if you hate me, please send all your Valyrian Steel and Dragons Glass north to the Wall so we don't all die? Thanks."?

4. I asked if the Lord of Light good -  well the Brotherhood without Banners fights for him, and murders  those poor peaceful people the Hound is hanging out with. Hmm, maybe George RR is purposely not having a "good" religion for a reason? ALLEGORIES!  

5. How bad is sweet Tommen's death going tobe? I know Cersie needs to see it, so he will perish before her. This is the second wise leader of a proud House advising her to flee King's Landing- imagine how different the show would have been had she taken her children and run? Speaking of that - where is Robert's bastard, last seen paddling south for King's Landing? We sure spent alot of time for him to just disappear and not matter.

6. Why isn't Sansa trusting Jon with this Baelish nonsense?

 GoT Warrior Power Rankings

1. Jon Snow: He marches on Winterfell with about 2300 men. Lets hoe the Vale has a large contingent.

2. Brienne of Tarth: It appears she will be reuniting with Jaime next week - let's hope it isn't to kill him.    

3. Tormund Giantsbane: He rallied the troops, but only 2000 of them.  

4. Daario Naharis: DNP, Coaches decision. Whats that big bag on the roof that Tyrion is looking at next week. Could it be the return of the Queen?

5. The Mountain: Menacing as usual, it looks like next week we are finally going to see him in action. He needs a tune up fight for the Clegane Bowl.  

6. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater: He's back and quipful as ever!  

7. The Blackfish: Good news hearing that while taking that piss, the Blackfish DID survive the Red Wedding. He has taken back Riverrun and  

8. The Hound: He is back, and he has an ax, and he is pissed. I am not sure where he is headed, but if it for the faith of Kings Landing, here comes the Clegane Bowl. 

9. Yara Greyjoy: It has been hard to get much fluctuations in the power rankings this season, but I am throwing Yara into the mix for checking Theon, heading for Mereen and for her appreciation of a good ass.

10. The Waif: Ok, I am adding her for getting first blood, but her ass appears to be grass once Arya comes out from hiding in the shadows. I wonder if this is some weird Faceless men "final test" thing. Probably not, but I can't see the death of another Stark - unless it's like Rickon, or Benjen or something. Hopefully next week we can take her off the list.

Retired: Wun Wun: "Snow!" Give him a line every episode.  I figure We can go ahead and retire Benjen Stark as well, since he is like half undead White Walker or something.

Quoted Quotables:

Jaime: A Lannister always..."

Bronn: "Don't say it - Don't fucking say it."

Bronn: "Good thing we're friends, or we'd be fucking you in the ass right now."

Yara: "Now, since it's my last night on shore for awhile, I'm gonna go fuck the tits off this one."

Tormund: "The crows killed him because he spoke for the free folk when no other southerner would. He died for us. If we aren't willing to do the same for him, we're cowards."

Tormund: "Were not clever like you southerners. When we say we'll do something, we do it."

Lady Olenna: "I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met."

Lady Olenna: "You've lost Cerise. It's the only joy I can find in all this misery."  

What we Learned: Game of Thrones 6.5 Home

1. White Walker Army - Still terrifying!

Well, way to go Bran. Uncle three eyed Raven ASKED you not to play with the tree while he was taking a nap, and look what happened. I know zombie purists like the slow moving brain chompers, but that hallway scene of them coming from every angle was haunting. I was pacing around the living room wondering how they might get out of it! And Bran's party took some major hits. Poor Summer. Our second Direwolf of the year is gone, leaving only Ghost and the hope that Nymeria is out causing trouble. and Hodor. Poor, poor Hodor. We showed us his wiener in season 1 and won our hearts, Telling us what his purpose in the show was all along. Hold the Door. It was so heartbreaking watching him torn to shreds while he held back the army of the dead. I just hope he held on long enough. RIP Hodor.

2. Are we really going to drag out Arya's plotline?

The way Arya's scenes are going, I feel like we will mostly see her Jedi Ninja training until the end of the show. I almost feel like she will graduate, disappear for a half a season, and then pop up at a critical moment to kill someone for the many faced god, that will be critical to saving our heroes. But speaking of heartbreaking, it was sad watching Arya's face going from laughter when watching the actor's depiction of King Robert, to sadness when seeing how her family was portrayed. It also reminded me something I love about this show - how news actually travels. I am not entirely sure, but I felt like Arya  found out about Sansa's marriage to Tyrion from the play - it wouldn't be an episode of Thrones without some Sad Stark Music. It was also telling that this is how the people of Braavos see the war of Westeros, as a bunch of fools fighting each other, also showing that historical records are quite biased, and very dependent on who wrote them. But Arya is so clearly a Stark, can she serve a house of assassins? That last line where she is told servanmts don't ask questions, it seems like she might have trouble killing innocents. 

3. Well, that was a short Kingsmoot

I was told book readers were quite excited about this scene. Seems like Euron Greyjoy took a page out of Dany's playbook - kill the leader, and the others will follow. I am glad this moved along quickly, as I do not care about the Iron-Born, until the idea was raised that they will be escorting the Daenerys across the Narrow Sea to Westeros to take the Iron Thrones. Was I the only one who thought for a second that Euron died when they let him drowned during that ceremony? That would have been pretty funny.   

4. We now know Jon's plan

It sounds while Jon is leaving the Night's Watch, but not forgetting it. He is worried about the Boltons and the Walkers in their strategy meeting. Take Winterfell, fortify the North, and ready for the real war to come. I enjoyed every aspect of that strategy meeting - Daavos reminding them that while oaths are great, real men fight for a cause they believe wont get their entire families murdered. It seems like a strong brain trust, with differing opinions to balance each other out, and Melissandre shutting the H up until someone asks her to do some magic.

5. Daenerys is readying for her big stage.

Not a lot happens - she finally forgive Jorah the Andal, and commands him to find the cure to Grey Scale. It is a touching scene to see his redemption, and admit his love for her. I now put Jorah in the "Dissappear and reappear at a super convenient time" bin.

More Questions than Answers:

1. How the hell are Bran and Meera going to escape the army of the dead? While it seems impossible, it also seems liek it MUST happen since Bran is probably the only one who can learn the truth about Jon's mother and other Westerosi secrets. I know that Meera isn't dragging him to the wall before the army. Plus they also need to report....

2. THIRD WHITE WALKER DEATH ALERT - OK, whew, take a breat.... We knew about the Dragon glass and the Valyrian steel, but we saw Meera take down a walker with some sort of wooden spear. Was it made of the holy Weirwood tree? Could perhaps spears and arrows made of these trees could be the weapons needed to take down the White Walkers? Again, this information HAS to reach our main players.

3. Is the Lord of Light good? I was always sure he was evil as the Red Priestess burned men and, sniff, Shireen alive. But now he has brought back Jon and pledged allegiance to Daenerys . Maybe the lesson is that good vs. evil depends on what side you are on. But the priestess in Mereen seems even more powerful than Melissandre. I've never seen Varys so terrified.

4. I am a little confused- How was Bran warging into Hodor to get them out of there AND watching him in the past? And why didn't young Wylis drop and lose his mind as soon as Bran warged into him? Or - did Bran Warg Wylis young brain into Old Hodor to keep him holding the door? Either way, bummer.. maybe even Bran doesn't understand exactly what he did with his new Three Eyed Raven powers. I wonder what other past events he'll have an inflence on. 

5. I feel like this week puts an end to the "Umbers are triple  stamping a double cross" speculation, although I can't understand why Sansa doesn't tell Jon about the knights of the Vale. They are a great house to have in their corner, I feel while you wouldn't want to trust Baelish, he is in it for himself. If he can help Sansa re-take the North, it just makes him stronger, although it appears he knew that Ramsey was not some proud little Lordling after all. Maybe he hoped for the best, but I actually believe him when he apologizes to Sansa and says he didn't know these things would happen to her.

 GoT Warrior Power Rankings

1. Jon Snow: He hasn't had to do much fighting, but needed a few verbal lashings from his sister and others to move on from his death. But he is on to take Winterfell, I hope he hands Sansa Ramsey's head.  

2. Brienne of Tarth: She remains savvy counsel for Sansa, and ready to cut down Lord Baelish at the first moment of disrespect.   

3. Tormund Giantsbane: I am thinking that mating rituals for the Northerners is a little different, but Big T  needs to work on his game. I don't think Brienne is feeling him just yet. Maybe a good sword fight will get these two love birds together!

4. Daario Naharis: He doesn't do much this week, save for looking a little hurt by Dany's acceptance of Jorah's love.  

5. Jorah Mormont: Lets hope he finds a cure!

6. The Mountain: Waiting for something big... 

7. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater: Conspicuously absent, perhaps for payroll reasons. I wonder when well see him again.

8. Grey Worm: He also appears to be a better fighter than politician...    

9. Tyrion Lannister: I wonder how the Mother of Dragons will take his politicking.  

10. The Blackfish: Good news hearing that while taking that piss, the Blackfish DID survive the Red Wedding. He has taken back Riverrun and  

Retired: Wun Wun: OKWhile he is one of my favorite characters, it feels unfair to rank him against mere mortals.

Quoted Quotables:

Jaqen: "A servant does not ask questions."

Euron: “Where are my niece and nephew? Let’s go murder them.”

Tyrion: "My friend has a healthy skepticism of religion "

Dany to Jorah: “I command you to heal yourself and then return to me. When I take the Seven Kingdoms I need you by my side.”

Hodor: "Hodor" 

What we Learned: Game of Thrones 6.1-6.2: The Red Woman & Home

1. Magic is real

The big reveal from episode 1 was that Melissandre is actually quite old, and not nearly as hot as HBO wanted us to think! But it is really "Home" that reminds us the world we are in. We get a Giant crashing down the walls at Castle Black and delightfully smashing a guy's face against the wall. We get Tyrion interacting with Dragons, sharing a cute story from his childhood, all while adding fuel to that ever burning "Tyrion Targarean" Theory. And then we get that grasp for breath we've been waiting ten months for - They tried to make us think it wouldn't work, but finally, Jon Snow is back! After a few season of not caring about the Wall, "Heartholm" reminded us that's where the real danger lies - ad we are the closest to a Stark reunion we've ever been! Magic!

2. Ramsey - Still the worst.

Yep, Ramsey gets a scene each episode, both showing what a piece of shit he is. Honestly, knowing how he is literally THE WORST, and how valuable screen time is, maybe we could have done without his week one check in, but it does give a little more weight to his total commitment to Patricide. Sure, he has the support of the Karstarks, but he thinks he is going to send a small crew up against Jon Snow - I hope my new homie Wun Wun  tears him in half while Jon Snow thanks him for fixing up Winterfell. It was nice to see Roose Bolton get betrayed, but it was almost as if he was warning Ramsey of his future.

3. An Oath is Finally Kept

It was really nice seeing someone finally keep an oath they swore, and Brienne of Tarth is 2 for 2  - she struck down "Stannis the Mannis" for killing her King, and she saved Sansa from the Boltons and is escorting her to safety - considering she saved Arya form the Hound, she is just crushing it right now - and will be a welcome ally in the wars to come up North. 

More Questions than Answers:

1. Are we going to spend all season with Bran checking out Flashbacks? I enjoyed our first flashback, and from the "Next Week On" segement, it looks like we are getting more. I like where this is going, but also would be really hot and bothered by the thought of a Northern Stark Army led by Jon the Immortal, Sansa the Beautfiul, Arya the Ninja and Bran the All-Seeing Warg! 

2. Willis!?!? Will we see what made Hodor turn into HODOR? I have a sad vision of a young Hodor somehow injuring his brain. 

3. We finally heard a Northern House of great interest to me name checked - the Umbers. As you MIGHT remember from season 3, Rickon Stark was headed to the Umbers with Shaggydog and Osha. While they are mentioned as potential allies fo the Bolton cause, it made me wonder - did Rickon make it? Are they hiding him? 

4. Do we care about the Lannisters anymore? Their power seems to be dwindling - their gold mines have dried up, the crown is in debt, and they are being told where they can and can't go in the city. It seems like a matter of time before things completely go south for them. 

 GoT Warrior Power Rankings

1. Jon Snow: He's so bad, death can't keep him down. Let's hope he knows what to do with a second cahnce.

2. Brienne of Tarth: She totally saved the day - who says this show doesn't have positive female storylines? She baiscally killed 6 men, althoug hshe got an assist from Podrick (Who appears to have been training) and Theon.  

3. Tormund Giantsbane: I asked, and GoT DELIVERED: Last Post: "Avenge your ally, Tormund. Bring Wun Wun."  This Northern Army is shaping up quite nicely, !  

4. Daario Naharis: Hasn't done much to speak of yet, besides chat wit hJorah. Here's hoping they can get .

5. Jorah Mormont: He sure is cocky for a guy who nearly died last week - what's his problem with Tyrion?

6. Wun Wun: OK, he didn't eat Ser Allister Thorne, but he was definitely awesome as usual.

7. The Mountain: He's back!!!! We haven't seen him fight, but we've seen dead men can fight jsut as viciously as the living

8. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater: Conspicuously absent, perhaps for payroll reasons. I wonder when well see him again.

9. Grey Worm: He appears to be a better fighter than a detective. .    

10. Tyrion Lannister: Although he hasn't fought anyone, he did win the courage test of "when people are running away from something, which way do YOU run"? test wehn the fleet is destroyed, and he bravely uncages the Dragons.8               That scene was expertly crafted.

11. Jaime Lannister: Jaime seems like he is going to be the last Lannister going down fighting - here is to hoping that he escapes King's Landing in time to join up with his baby brother.  

Quoted Quotables:

Tyrion: "If I lost my cock, I'd drink all the time."

"I'm here to help. Don't eat the help. "

Tyrion: "When I was a child, an ucle asked, what gift I wanted for my name day. I begged him for one of you. 'It wouldn't even have to be a big dragon,' I told him, it could be little, like me.' Everyone laughed, liek it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard. And then my father told me the last dragon ahd died over a century ago. I cried myself to sleep that night. But here you are."

Faceless Man: Leave it. A girl is not a beggar anymore."

Bolton: "Murder the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch? You'd unit all the houses in the North against us."

Bolton: "If you acquire a reputation as a mad dog you'll be treated as a mad dog. taken out back and slaughtered for pig feed."

Ramsey " I look forward to meeting my new brother."